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| FREQUENTLY ASKED
QUESTIONS |
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| Q. When
I tell my child to do something, he totally ignores me and
pretends not to hear me. I get very annoyed and I lose my
cool, what should I do ? |
Top |
| A.
There are many reasons why a child may tune out his parents
:
| a. |
Not
listening can be a child's way of testing parental
authority and his own autonomy. |
| b. |
Another
major reason is to avoid conflict. |
| c. |
Your
child may switch off if you keep sermonizing him. |
| d. |
Sometimes
a child is so engrossed in his work that he literally
blocks out all background noise. |
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| To
help open your child's ears to what you have got to
say, you may do the following : |
| a. |
Listen
to your child : When your child is saying something
that may not seem important to you, it is of the utmost
importance to him that you should listen to him. He
is small, not being heard makes him feel even smaller.
Try always to lend him a ear. |
| b. |
Make
eye contact : Walk right up to your child and look
into his eyes when you speak. |
| c. |
Speak
concisely and relatively sweetly : Your child's attention
span is very short. So say what you have to, in a
few short and sweet words. |
| d. |
Be
realistic : Teach your child a particular skill before
you expect compliance. Parents often issue commands
that their children do not understand. |
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| Q. How
do I prevent my child from wanting to eat only fast food
? |
Top |
A.
You have had a long day at work, your child has had a
long day at school and you are too tired to cook and your
child is too cranky to wait. So you decide to go to an
inexpensive restaurant and resort to fast food.
Do not be too hard on yourself. Do not make fast food
a habit. Try to limit the number of visits maybe to a
few times a month. When you eat at a fast food restaurant,
guide your children towards a healthier choice such as
a grilled piece of chicken rather than fried. In place
of drinking too much colas opt for fresh juices. Warn
them, that too much soda or candy can rot or discolour
their teeth. Warn them, that if they do not eat enough
healthy food their bodies will not grow big and strong.
Frozen yogurt can make a nutritious dessert, at least
when compared to pies and biscuits. In place of fries
one can opt for mashed potatoes. |
| Q.
What is
the cause of mouth-breathing in my daughter of 7 years?
At night, when she sleeps she drool saliva and also snores.
How can I get her to sleep with mouth closed? |
Top |
|
A.
The common causes of mouth-breathing in children are :
| a. |
Enlarged
Adenoids : Which are tonsils behind the nose. Though
a slight enlargement of the adenoids is considered
normal, but if there is a gross enlargement, it
can give rise to blocking the nasal passage, forcing
the child to breathe through the mouth. As a result
of mouth remaining partially open, there is drooling
of the saliva. |
| b.
|
Deviated
Nasal Septum - Nasal Allergy or Infection or Nasal
Polyps : These conditions also can be the cause
of mouth breathing, as they block the nasal air
passage. The nose performs various protective functions
like filtration of air, humidification and temperature
regulation of the air that we breathe in. When the
child breathes through the mouth, these protective
functions are by-passed leading to recurrent upper
and lower respiratory tract infections. Blockage
of the nasal passage also leads to collection of
nasal secretions, and this stagnant nasal secretions
become infected which spread to the sinuses leading
to a chronic sinus problem, with the child having
a runny nose and sniffling. |
Mouth breathing
in a child also causes the dentition and alignment of
teeth go awry children who mouth breathe very often will
have a foul smelling breath coming from mouth. To get
rid of mouth-breathing problem in children, it is very
necessary to find the cause and treat it accordingly e.g.
in case of gross adenoids enlargement, a simple surgical
procedure of tonsillectomy or adenectomy will help. |
| Q. My
daughter has been complaining of pain in the ears and
complains she cannot hear very well? What can be causing
this problem? |
Top |
A.
Common reasons for pain in the ears could be:
1. Infection of the outer ear - Otitis Externa
2. Wax impaction in the ear
3. Severe upper Respiratory tract infection.
1. Otitis Externa
Otitis Externa is caused by a bacterial or fungal infection
of the ear canal, causing pain, discharge and sometimes
severe itching. A mild hearing loss may also be there.
Treatment by local drops, ointments and a course of antibiotics
will be required.
2. Wax Impaction :
Wax is a protective secretion to moisten and prevent infection
in the ear canal. Wax usually gets impacted when the patient
attempts to clean the ear with cotton buds. Treatment
consists in using wax solving ear drops and syringing
out the wax by the E.N.T specialist.
3. Severe Upper Respiratory Tract Infection
This gives rise to infected nasal secretions and pressure
on the opening of the eustachain tube, which lies between
the back of the nose and ears, can lead to the infection
spreading to the ear and consequently pain in the ear.
This is usually caused by enlarged adenoids, and if allowed
to persist for long, can lead to permanent hearing loss. |
| Q. My
child is not responsible at all, what should I do to make
him more responsible ? |
Top |
Most
parents have a dream that my child should be responsible
one who will do his fair share of chores - cleaning up
his room, putting his dirty clothes in the linen bag.
Parents have to inculcate these habits early. "How
do I make my child responsible" is a question that
arises in most parents mind. if you :
1. Start Early : Your toddler cannot perform all
regular chores, but it isn't too early to give him an
occasional taste of responsibility.
2. Set a good example : Most toddlers enjoy imitating
their parents. One of the best ways to inculcate this
habit is to be a good role model with your own possessions
- put your keys back on the key holder, tidy the cupboard,
etc.
3. Choose the right age for the appropriate task
: Even if your toddler is willing to help you out, don't
push him to do more than he's capable of doing. If he's
overburdened he may burn out early and become resentful
for helping later.
4. Make the job a game : Try to turn cleaning up
or any other into a merry pursuit. Instead of snapping
"put your dolls away!" rather playfully suggest
"Its time for the dolls to take a nap." You'll
have a better chance convincing your toddler that cleaning
not so bad after all.
5. Keep chore fun : Many nursery schools play or
sing nursery rhymes or sing a special clean up song that
children associate with putting away their toys and moving
on to another activity.
6. Phrase things in a positive way : In place of
threatening children or being aggressive won't help rather
its more necessary to be assertive. Instead of issuing
an ultimatum, its better to use terms as "Grandma's
rule", etc.
7. Make the job a learning experience : Teach shapes
and colours by saying "You put the red rectangle
block away and I'll put the blue square block away."
8. Acknowledge his efforts : Thank him, Praise
him for what he does this will boost his morale and he
will continue to do better and better.
9. Don't demand perfection : Strike a happy medium
between his standards and yours. Don't be too rigid. |
| Q. My
children only listen to me only when I get angry, what
should I do? |
Top |
Dealing
with toddlers can be extremely difficult, their irrationality
and unreasonableness can often push the best of parents
to the brink and sometimes even over it. Having lost your
temper on a particularly bad day is not only understandable,
its forgivable.
Children may not really believe that parents don't enjoy
blowing their top. Losing their temper often leaves them
feeling drained, remorseful, guilty. Children develop
an uncanny ability to judge, when you are really serious
and mean business. Very often as parents one says a lot
of nasty things to your child, which demoralises the child.
Sometimes they are humiliated near their friends which
makes them feel very bad. This usually makes the children
more defensive and resistant to authority.
Losing your cool at your children makes them realize how
much they can affect you emotionally. Subconsciously they
use this knowledge to their advantage as if they have
an upperhand over you.
Anger can be very emotionally exhausting. It drains you
out. Frequent bursts of anger also lowers your credibility.
Often the point you are trying to make is lost in confusion
with other issues you may raise. Loud voices are less
effective. Anger is not the best way to discipline a child.
It can make your child very rebellious. The problem with
this style of discipline is that its very addictive, it
becomes a habit. A good way of discipling your child is
to establish rules right from the beginning and adhering
to them strictly. |
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