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| MANNERISM AND
BEHAVIOUR - Mrs. Brinda Jaisingh |
| As children grow
up, especially once they past the age of being 3, they tend to be more independent and
adventurous. When we are teaching them manners and behavior, we must always explain to
them what are right and wrong and why is it so. Children have to be given these
explanations because of their curious minds. Also one must not be too strict with our
children. We must of course set boundaries for them within which they must behave. |
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While teaching them the right things, we
must be flexible to a certain extent. Give them a choice of things that are right and the
various ways in which they can do their tasks and behave well.
Moods and Mannerism in Children
Children are always in their happy world, content with their life and the things around
them. But like aunts, at times even children suffer from mood swings and tend to get irate
and angry. At many times, children behave moody and spoilt to test the limit of their
parents. Some children, who feel that they do not get enough attention from their parents,
throw temper tantrums as a means of attracting attention.
Methods to deal with children and their
mood swings
The best way to deal with a moody or
stubborn child is to create a distraction from the grieving or aggravating source. Even
slightly variating the problem or situation may help improve the child's mood. At times
measures like locking him up in a room may help. It must be clearly explained to the child
that he is not being punished but his surroundings are just being changed to improve his
mood. Shutting him up in a room gives both the mother and the child some time to
themselves. Many a times when a child whines or cribs meaninglessly, it pays to turn a
deaf ear and pretend that it never happened. Most probably after a while, the child will
realize that he is having no effect on the parent and will ultimately give up whining and
cribbing.
Bringing out the best in your child the
age to learn
From the age of 3 to 6 a child's mind is
extremely keen and receptive. It grasps in knowledge at a very fast pace and the child is
very observant. At this age, if parents foster good behavior and thoughts in the child's
mind, these habits and patterns will stick with the child throughout life.
Individual differences in children
What we must accept is that all children
are different from one another and have different cognitive styles. Some are by nature
aggressive and some tend to be shy, some are overbearing and dominating while some are
timid and meek. What we must also accept is that the temperament of our child cannot be
identical to that of our temperament. So we must not expect our child to be identical and
behave in an identical manner as we do.
Individuality of our child
We must love our child and accept them
for who they are. This does mean that we spoil them and give into all their whims and
fancies. We must also hold expectations of them that are realistic and realize that just
because they have a temperament that is different from the parents' temperament, this does
mean that the child and parent are a mismatch. At this stage, the child needs all the
stimulation he can get and joking, laughing and learning between the parent and child help
in this process. We must also spend as much time we can with our child and address their
various needs. You must build a sense of trust and attachment between the child and the
parent.
Be a good parent .......
NURTURE STRENGTHS, LESSEN
WEAKNESSES..........
Understand your child's needs and encourage your child to do what he or she enjoys doing.
Do not force them into unnecessary hobbies and interests that they detest. At this age,
your child will probably join school and learn to play with friends and interact with
them. He will learn to play in groups and share his toys with others. Through this process
of interaction he will realize that all people are not the same. The child will get drawn
favorably towards some children while they tend to move away from others. While playing,
the child will also come to learn many feelings and emotions that are within him. He will
come to realize his own strengths and weaknesses. The parent must talk to their child and
find out what his interests are and make an effort to promote them. We must cultivate new
hobbies and interests in our child. Help him to understand that when children are playing
with toys, each one of them must get an equal turn with the toy. Help inculcate feelings
of co-operation in your child and teach him how to deal with frustration. Talk to your
child and help him express himself to you. Be a role model. Set examples in your day to
day life and at home, which you would like your child to follow. Do not give your child
one set of instructions and then you yourself practice another. That will create a feeling
of disparity and unfairness. And most importantly, give your child your love and support
at all times.
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